Why Holding On To Emotional Junk Will Hinder You:
Continued
You can respond to another’s anger by:
A) Choosing to continue to feel this person’s anger and redirecting it back, causing a ping-pong or bounce-back effect (which is not pleasant). Or:
B) Accepting that this person is angry and choosing to let go of their energy, by immersing yourself in your own feelings about this situation.
When you are constantly picking up bounce-back energy from others, it’s time to refocus back on yourself! Great ways to immerse yourself back into your being:
- Writing
- Talking with others
- Meditating
- Making art
- Working on hobbies
Moving Forward
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Take some time to think about why you hold onto anger that perpetuates a feedback loop. You may be trying to take your focus away from yourself, or something that is hurting you. Look into yourself, and release this person.
Forgiveness (letting go) on your part may help only up to a certain point. Sometimes other people want to hold onto as much pain as they can, as long as they can. In this situation, it is better to recognize that and move onto the next stage.
Completely disengage from this person
Many people can still feel the energy of a person even after that person has left them or they have broken up. That can be a problem, especially if there was no closure. Sometimes, one constantly tunes into this type of energy and turns it into an exchange of something more real than it actually is and it becomes obsessive. This is not helpful or productive in solving the problem.
Ask yourself whether or not you want to hold onto another’s energy, even though it may be negative. Are you attempting to choke the relationship by holding onto their anger? Or are you using these feelings to enable this person or to justify their behavior?
If you are not able to disengage from the person, recognize that you are not ready to let go, but allow yourself to open up to the possibility of finality between you both. This usually means the death of a dream, and that can be the hardest part.
Begin immersing yourself in activities and things that celebrate you
Engage in some of the activities described earlier or whatever else helps you to refocus on yourself. Then you can take a healthy step back from the relationship and see that in fact, it’s THEIR anger and YOUR choice to hold onto their anger that is keeping you stuck.
Getting Closure
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You may even be surprised to find out what ‘letting go’ can do for you both. Perhaps that person will also forgive you, and now real healing can begin. By letting go, you will in fact, be healing someone indirectly by releasing your bond and through channeling your energy more safely.
And you never know -- perhaps this person will let go of their anger enough to allow him or her back into your life, in a workable manner. But most of all, in letting go, you allow for closure.
It’s not always worth holding on!
