by "Carmen miro," a Psychic Advisor on Keen*

You know that feeling. You think of that person, and immediately sadness or frustration wells up from deep within your solar plexus. You can feel the rift between you two. You can taste their displeasure on the tip of your tongue. At this point, maybe both of you are sharing this emotion. What does it mean when you are both feeling the same "bad" feelings?

This scenario is typical of an empathic bond. It doesn’t matter where the feeling originated. You both may have felt this feeling at almost the same moment. You are both sharing this negative energy and both of you are continuing to feel it, even if you are not in the same location, or aware of each other’s emotional state. And you are stuck in a negative energy feedback loop.

You may have even thought that you had fully grieved the loss of this person, but they are still in your head. Anger can often be easier to cope with than sadness. How do you get rid of these feelings, which are often felt and expressed as anger?

When you are angry with someone, stop for a minute and think:

• Do I really feel anger towards this person?
• Or am I angry about the situation?
• If I do really feel this anger, could it be that this other person is possibly feeling the same thing? 

If you discover that you really do feel angry with this person, rather than the situation, you can choose to not hold onto the feelings.

There may be no way to verify how this person feels. When you assume that they have the same feelings, you must take responsibility for holding onto this emotion. With that thought, you can start letting it go.

Sometimes people choose to hold onto negative energies and they will direct them at you. They not only feel anger instead of sadness -- they reinforce it by choosing to focus their anger on you. You have a choice to respond or not.

*Excerpted from the blog of "Carmen miro" from Keen